Next Week's Ideas

It is so great to be able to talk and write through these ideas and discover more about ourselves as we read through this book. :) For next week, we decided to make dream lists of our desires, passions, and ideas about who we want to be and things we want to do. From this, we can see the possibilities and parts of who we are, build our strengths, and confront our weaknesses. We can talk about whether these parts really capture essences of our selves, or are misconceptions and may prevent us from reaching our full potential as women of God. Other questions we may think about and discuss next week may include how to overcome our insecurities and change our thinking about our misconceptions.

We'll also read Chapter 2, What Eve Alone Can Tell, for next week. Let us grow and work through life together as we seek God's best for our lives.

Captivity Chapter One: Questions

Questions that came up for me during the reading that may help you kind of trigger some internal conversations:

What Moments have you considered a "rite of passage?"
The author talked a lot about rites of passage, making me reflect on what I thought were big moments or turning points in my life.  I feel like before I got married, the biggest moment was moving for college.  I could not wait to be on my own and out of the house and as independent as I could.  I'm not sure it's a "woman's rite" specifically, but as a person, it was definitely one of mine. :)

What advice, if any were you give about being "a woman?"
I think because my mom grew in a family that had a very traditional "women serve the man" type of view, she erred more on the "you are not a man's servant" type mentality.  Which was a good and a bad thing for me.  Good because I would never let a man walk all over me, but bad because I feel like sometimes I don't see that serving JT is also a way to show that I love him.

Some people would say a boy's "rite of passage" would be something like going camping with their dad.  What would a girl's "rite of passage be?"

What does a successful woman to me look like?
Being joyful, even when times are tough.  Going after the things that she is passionate about.  Having wisdom, honoring and respecting people even when it is difficult.  Making others happy, but also being able to stay true to herself.

What do I feel like I'm "too much of?"
Too emotional, too insecure, indecisive, attached

What do I feel like I'm "not enough of?"
pretty enough, outgoing enough, likable, talented

Why do I feel scared of going on an adventure?
Feeling not good enough for it

What desires do I try to bury?
dreams, feeling like things aren't practical.  Not believing I am capable.

Why do I feel uncomfortable being "delighted in?"
still working that out...


I feel as woman, we are told so many lies about how we are supposed to be and how we aren't doing what we should be doing.  I'm excited and nervous to ask the tough questions, get to the heart of why we feel the way we do and find the lies we believe; and learn to dump those and start to actually believe and see the truth about ourselves.  There is so much we can do and be, if only we know how much we are worth and begin to realize how "enough" we really are.

Captivating, Chapter 1

Chapter One

The Heart of a Woman

You belong among the wildflowers

You belong in a boat out at sea

You belong with your love on your arm

You belong somewhere you feel free.

---Tom Petty

I love this poem! Here's my interpretation of it:

You are a creature of beauty

You may feel alone, but you are strong enough to survive

All the love and emotion you feel has a place to embraced by others

And in all of these insecurities, you know that these feelings are true and to be cherished.

***

I'm trying to remember when I first knew in my heart that I was no longer a girl, but had become a woman...

I don't recall when this was for me, but I know that I am just now beginning to accept and love being a woman. Perhaps that is because I am learning what "being pursued" really means, and ultimately, at the end of the day, I definitely love it!

 ***

But no matter how much I asserted my strength and independence as a woman ("hear me roar"), my heart as a woman remained empty. To be told when you are young and searching that "you can do anything" is not helpful. It's too vast. It gives no direction. To be told when you are older that "you can do anything a man can do" isn't helpful, either. I didn't want to be a man. What does it mean to be a woman? (4)

I completely identify with this! I appreciate having been told, "Katie, you can do anything you want," but that didn't really help me process through what I wanted. (I comment on this aside from the real question of womanhood. That's far too difficult to answer...)

 ***

 The kitchen floor and false expectations entering love and marriage (5)

I mention this topic from page five because I got a laugh out of it. I do identify with the idealized picture of myself being Betty Crocker, but yet I also realize how unrealistic this is! Still, the fact that I, as a woman, may put a part of my identity and value in what it may mean to be a "good domestic wife" should not be undermined the false expectations we place on ourselves. 

***

Shame, the universal companion of women (7)

Wrapped up in the ideal form of who we should be. Shame, such a strong and fearsome word. Directly related to false expectations. 

***

Why Proverbs 4:23?

Because God knows that our heart is core to who we are. It is the source of all our creativity, our courage, and our convictions. It is the fountainhead of our faith, our hope, and of course, our love. This "wellspring of life" within us is the very essence of our existence, the center of our being. Your heart as a woman is the most important thing about you.

***

3 Things longed by a woman: To be romanced, To play an irreplaceable role in a great adventure, and To unveil beauty. True or false?

I'm not sure if they are true for all women, but after reading the explanations for each, I definitely qualify! Especially with the desire to be on an adventure with others. I love these words:

...we were made to be a part of a great adventure. An adventure that is shared. We do not want the adventure merely for adventure's sake but for what it requires of us for others. We don't want to be alone in it; we want to be in it with others (12).

***

But Maria has a rare and beautiful depth of spirit. She has the capacity to love snowflakes on kittens and mean-spirited children. She sees the handiwork of God in music and laughter and climbing trees. Her soul is Alive. And we are drawn to her.

 It is my life's goal to become Maria.

*** 

A woman in the presence of a good man, a real man, loves being a woman. His strength allows her feminine heart to flourish. His pursuit draws out her beauty (18).

***

Oh goodness! Monica, I am loving this book! It's such an easy read and the topic is completely where I am right now. Thank you for the recommendation and doing this with me! :)

Let Our Journey Begin

The time has come to finally start this book club we've been talking about for years. Let this time and fellowship lead to conversations that further ourselves mentally, emotionally, socially, physically, and spiritually. I pray the opportunity to develop our minds through reading while deepening our understanding of this story called, "Life," will be fruitful and lead to better living each day of our lives. Here's to the next chapter!

Love,
Kate